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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A Little Too Calm

You know me, I'm a nut case. All the time. Running around, multi-tasking in only a way that I can. But lately, it hasn't been that way. I've been calm. Very calm.

I've heard about 75 times in 2 days "Are you getting excited about the wedding?", and the sound in their voice when they hear my response is of pure disappointment. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY excited. VERY VERY! It's just not flowing out of me in my normal, bubbly and sometimes annoying way.

Gifts are arriving, the dress is done, hell even guests are starting to arrive. Yes, this early - the ones from out of the country who are making a trip of it and all. I should be jumping up and down and in constant lunatic mode all day. But I'm not.

Is there something wrong with me? Is this the calm before the storm? Or am I just totally exhausted of a year of planning this wedding that I'm finally running on empty? Whatever it is is very strange to me indeed.

Now, I won't be stupid and not say that the Zoloft isn't a key role in this whole thing. It's definitely leveled out the chaos in my head. And it's not to say that I would rather be a raging freak show, barking direction at everyone and going from happy to sad 457 times a day either. Who would? It's just weird.

I'm really hoping that the overly happy comes out soon before people start to think I don't want to get married. And, though helpful I will stop taking the Zoloft a few weeks after the wedding. I like being calm but I also miss being a nut case ;-)

Until then I will remain a QUIETLY happy and medicated bride :-)