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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Hello Crazy...Where've You Been?

It's official, I have had my first, of what I can only imagine is many meltdowns. I can't say that I didn't see it coming, I mean even after dropping back to 50 mg of Zoloft from the 100mg I was taking for a week or so, I have still been much to laid back about things.

It's just before 10 pm, and I've been in bed since 8pm. My stomach sick, my head swirling and my nerves shaking. The phone rang and Mr S came in to let me know my God Mother was wondering if I was still taking my biological son to get a hair cut tomorrow. I think that mixed with the notice of groomsmen not being able to make it to the rehearsal because of his profession, which I can understand - set me clear off my rocker. Suddenly the stress flowed in, tears flowed out and I was desperate to just sleep the whole night with out being woken up by my mind.

I've taken to my Adavan, prescribed by the doctor for stress on the wedding day and the flight, I resorted to them now for just one night of total sleep. I'm tired, I'm stressed out and I've been rather proud of not freaking out before now over something stupid. I guess I wasn't actually handling, rather putting off. And I know everything will be fine I think I needed to get this out of my system and get a good nights sleep.

It's supposed to be the greatest day of my life, why does it come with so much damn stress!?