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Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sometimes you need to step back

I know my blogs are normally quite funny, quirky and even a bit sarcastic, but I'd like to step away from that for a moment if it's all right with you and touch on a subject that is in fact wedding related but maybe not talked about as much as the dress or the party.

There are people who will, sadly not attend my wedding in the body but instead join me in spirit. Who will hold my hand and smile upon me as if to tell me how proud they are. Some of these people I spent a lot of time with, some just a little and some, none at all.

On my car ride home this evening from a birthday party a song came on the radio and the words touched me, prompting me to write this blog before I turned in for the night.

Jason Aldean, a country singer sang:

This past year my family
Was sittin cross-legged 'round the Christmas tree
Listenin to granddad, we all knew it would probably be his last
He was crackin jokes and we were takin turns
Tellin stories bout fishing or lessons learned
Out on the porch with him we all felt like kids again

Oh man we were livining, sitting there reminiscing
Yeah, we sang and talked and traveled back in time
We laughed until we cried

It reminded me of the hours I spent in my Grandfathers house, just before Thanksgiving in 2007, as he suffered of cancer, waiting for the good Lord to take him home. The grand kids and his soon to be Grand Son in Law, whom is more like him then he will ever have the privilege of knowing in it's full force, traded stories and we did - Laugh Until We Cried.

On this day, the 5th anniversary of the death of man I never had the honor to meet, meets me with tears. My future husbands Grand Dad, a man who's legacy still lives in the town he brought many memories too and who, if I describe as being popular wouldn't do him justice, will be one of those men meeting me in spirit the day I marry.

And in preparation for my memory table I purchased photo frame to hold a photo of each loved one gone. I plan to adorn the table with a dozen white roses and a photo of each passed member of my now family, and the family I will marry into, and sadly, much too soon I feel I have to add another frame.

My Step Grandfather, Jim has passed. Joining the ranks of loved ones in the Lords care not only a day ago. Another man of honor and grace. Who loved his trains almost as much as he loved his children. A man I didn't get to spend a lot of time with in life, but will none the less meet me with Mr S' Grand Dad and my own, to show his support and happiness of the creation of new love and the joining of 2 more families.

The realization of how precious life is has shown itself too many times in the past years, and through my sadness I can see a light. A light that shines on a day 6 months from now when Mr S and I will be joined as man and wife. A day when I, a common girl, no more special then the next, will have the distinct honor of knowing that not only is her father walking her down the isle to meet the man of her dreams and become his wife, but that 3 other men will stand there to. Guiding me down the whole way and standing there in celebration of the a love, and a legacy that with out them would not be.

The same country song I quoted before ended with even a more distingushing phrase, and I would like to share it before I go:

It's like the best days under the sun
Every emotion rolled into one
A little of this, A little of that
Kinda happy, Kinda sad

In Loving Memory, today and Always Grandpa Grundman, Grand Dad Trehearn and Grandpa Niesen. Three men who's memory is like the best days under the sun.

Cheers to lives well lived, may we all be so lucky to leave behind love as beautiful as they did. May we all leave behind memories that can make us laugh until we cry. Kinda Happy, Kinda Sad.

(And of course to Grand Dad Sweeney, not mentioned in this blog, but missed and loved just as much and joining the 3 men mentioned before in the duty of leading me down the isle.)