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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I move to strike Bride-zilla and enter for vote: "Guest-zillias"

I always head the term "Bride-zilla" before I myself got engaged. I watched tv shows about them, and heard what seemed to be legitimate horror stories about them even. It wasn't until I began planning my own wedding, and talking with other to-be-brides that I began to realize, Bride-zilla's do not start out as such, they are created!

It started simply, a planning decision between Mr S and I, no kids at the reception other then the ones in the wedding party. The reasoning was we couldn't afford $1000 extra dollars for chicken fingers and inviting the children would mean bumping off adults to keep within the amount of people allowed at our venue. This seemed ridiculous to us, sacrifice having our good friend there so that a cousin could bring her 7 children for a free meal?

More then that, we are having our wedding at a private country club, where we are not allowed to be wandering about the club house or the golf course. And I, being the type of person I am will spend the majority of my wedding day tracking down missing 6 year olds because I do not want to have to pay the fine or deal with being lectured by management.

Could I have chosen a more kid friendly place? Sure. Would I if I went back and started over. No way. I'm not having a children's birthday party, I'm getting married. That day in my life I've been dreaming about for decades! There will be no balloons, crayons or ponies. This is an adult celebration, and it should be treated as such.

Tiny bits of Bride-zilla begin to creep in about this time. As I'm actually faced with accommodating other people for MY day. When you write it out like that and reread it....it not only looks stupid it sounds that way too. I'm not having this party for the benefit of anyone but my husband and myself and now I'm being considered a "Bride-zilla" because I don't want to go broke feeding children?

Example #2:
I have a a good friend who has a boyfriend. Lot's of them do - and in most cases, so and so would be invited as "Miss Blah Blah and Guest". This case is a bit different, I've invited her and her parents who are good friends of mine as well. The invite is to be addressed to her parents and her, specifically. Now, etiquette states that NO ONE other then those listed directly on the envelope or inner envelope should the invite have one, is invited. This means if you get invited to a wedding and the invite does not say "And family" LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME!

Well, this friend has stated that she will be bringing her boyfriend, regardless of the lack of invitation. So I should bite my tounge, set an extra place setting and deal...right?
Well no.
This boyfriend of hers is not exactly..... whats the word I am looking for..... - normal? Okay, I don't really punish people for lack of normality - if I did I'd be punishing myself frequently. When I say "not normal" I mean, in no way will he get along with anyone a the reception, and he fails to grasp any normal out look on society or life. He's anti-black, and I'm not talking the crayon....I'm talking people. My little sister is black. I have other family that is as well, those are not conversations that will be happening at my wedding - or ever if I can help it. He believes white is the superior race, Hi Ho Hitler and all that.

I'm proud of freedom of speech, I believe you have your right to have any belief system you want. With that comes my freedom to tell you to take a flipping leap off a building if you support something as terrible as white supremacy. I've stood at Auschwitz, and I'm sorry - I'm having a celebration of love - and that my friend will not include the spawn of Hitler!

This too has me being called a "Bride-zilla" WTF!?

Do you see how stupid this is? How can I honestly be called this when all I'm doing is protecting my day and creating something that me and Mr S want? I don't even know the guy in the last story there, never met him in my whole life. And I have had sleepless nights about how he's going to show up anyway and destroy my day, wondering should I even still invite these people....

Shouldn't there be "Guest-zillas"?! Honestly, they are the ones who through fits, call names when things don't go as they want. Why do Brides get bad reps when all they are doing is planning their wedding? I have seen people who's bridesmaids have changed their dress color with out even asking them, and then getting irked at the bride for being called out on it....HELLO! How many weddings have you seen and been in? The bride kinda picks out that thing, and if you look like a cow in it....deal - it's not your day and no one's looking at you anyway!

I apologize for the rant and rave about this, but we do get a bad rep - and often change our dreams and hopes to suit people we really don't know. And that's unfair! We only get the chance to be a Princes Bride once (in most cases...lol) we should get to do it that way we want to!